Movie Review: I, Frankenstein (2014)
Written by Anthony Sargon
Why, Frankenstein? That’s what I kept asking myself while watching the horrendously ludicrous “I, Frankenstein.” With a ridiculous plot, video game-quality visual effects, and terrible dialogue, this is one movie you best steer clear from.
So yeah…the plot…here goes: After Frankenstein’s monster kills his creator’s wife, which ultimately leads to the death of Dr. Frankenstein, his monster finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between demons and gargoyles. Not willing to pick sides, the monster (now nicknamed Adam, how cute!) goes into hiding for 200 years, killing any demon that crosses his path. When it becomes clear that both sides are looking to use Adam in order to unlock the key to immortality, his destiny finally becomes clear.
This movie is quite terrible, but is it “so bad it’s good”? Not really, it’s just bad. It’s actually based on a graphic novel written by Kevin Grevioux, who also wrote the film’s screenplay, so if you thought the novel may actually be good, think again. For one, the plot is enough to make Mary Shelly turn over in her grave. What the hell does Frankenstein’s monster have to do with demons and gargoyles?
Director Stuart Beattie also clearly doesn’t know how to control himself when it comes to action scenes. It sometimes felt like I was watching a montage put together by a 10-year-old playing with his action figures. And the effects are seriously no better than what you’d see in a video game, which can get pretty damn distracting. Thankfully, the movie’s pretty short, as it clocks in at about 100 minutes including credits.
The dialogue is awful, and even the one-liners aren’t even creative or cheesy enough to be funny; they’re just bad. Even with a relatively strong cast, there’s nothing that can save this movie from being crap. I’m just going to assume that Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, and Miranda Otto have been caught for tax evasion and are just trying to pay off the government, because I can’t imagine them willingly signing on to this.
The Verdict:
Seriously; Why, Frankenstein?
Numerical Score: 1.5/10
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